


Soooo... Norway, huh?

by Iamacarrot



Series: Eddsworld. Just because [3]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: But Tom won't let them, But they aren't my personal OCs, Edd's just really confused, Inspired by Bolt, M/M, Matt is still a narcissistic knucklehead, One scene where Tord fights with one of the extra characters over Matt, Some random Norwegian guys I made up are in here, They almost have a threesome, Tord has his trusty robo-arm, TordMatt - Freeform, i had to do this, poor edd, there's like, they're just there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 06:58:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14889789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamacarrot/pseuds/Iamacarrot
Summary: At that statement, Tom groaned as he awoke, humming in confusion when he lifted his hand to rub his head, only to find it cuffed to another man's arm. The one man he REALLY didn't want to see..."What in the ever loving -bowl of delicious Eddsworld cereal- are YOU doing ALIVE?!""I'd like to be able to ask the same question. But, regrettably, I already KNEW you were alive..."





	Soooo... Norway, huh?

Matt nervously bit at his well done nails, too deep in thought to worry about how awful his nails would look afterwards... actually, that's a lie, he gagged as he pulled his hands away from his mouth and shook them off. He had done it this time. He had fucked his way to hell, and that was both figurative and literal. Don't ask why it's literal, he somewhat regrets what he had to do as a part of all of this to get things done, but not really. In his opinion, it was quite enjoyable.

The soft sound of a familiar Norwegian clearing his throat scared Matt out of his mind. "I've been awake this whole time, unlike them, so why are you so scared?" Tord asked. Matt blushed, rubbing his temple with his free hand (the other having been cuffed to Tord's left arm). "They're going to kill me... I know they will." Matt sighed. "Then why did you do... all of this?" the other inquired. Matt shrugged, he honestly didn't know for sure.

"Ever since I found out that you were alive, I couldn't help but try and tell the others, but, when I did, they told me to let you go, and move on... They thought I was just trying too hard to forgive you..." Matt explained sadly. Tord frowned, but didn't let any pity show, he saw Matt's ego burst into flames only once, and this, was that one time. "Were you...? Trying to forgive me, I mean?" Tord asked. "Heh. I let you pound into me like a rabbit in heat, 'm pretty sure that should answer your question." Matt teased.

Tord smirked, pulling Matt closer. "And I would gladly fuck you into another table, much harder than before..." the foreigner purred, licking Matt's cheek seductively.

At that statement, Tom groaned as he awoke, humming in confusion when he lifted his left hand to rub his head, only to find it cuffed to another man's right arm. The one man he REALLY didn't want to see...

"What in the ever loving -bowl of delicious Eddsworld cereal- are YOU doing ALIVE?!"

"I'd like to be able to ask the same question. But, regrettably, I already KNEW you were alive..." Tord scoffed. "See? I told you he survived!" Matt shouted, shrinking down when the angriest of looks appeared on the eyeless man's face. "I'm going to kill you!" Tom screeched. Matt squealed, hiding behind Tord. "Not my face!" he pleaded.

Tom moved his arm to punch Matt, and grunted when he was halted by a sudden weight on his right arm. "Ow! Stop it! I'm trying to sleep...! Wait... TORD?!?!?!?"

*Dun Dun Dun Duuuuuuuun*

All four men looked up in confusion. This was the second time they'd heard that voice, and, honestly, it was already getting quite stale.

"How, and WHY, are you alive, and HERE?" Tom asked, poking Tord's chest. Tord rolled his left eye (the right one having been covered by an eyepatch), an unamused look on his face. "Ask lover boy over there." Tord chuckled, pointing to Matt. Tom and Edd both looked to Matt, who blushed and shrugged sheepishly, a dopey and lovestruck look on his face.

The two looked back at Tord, who sported a heavy blush of his own. "Well, if you MUST know, and since Matt isn't going to provide any explanation soon, I guess I'll keep it short and simple." Tord hummed. "Well?" Edd asked. "We fucked." Tord stated proudly, settling Matt on his lap. Tom and Edd watched in shock as Matt gently rut against Tord's stomach, blushing madly and giggling stupidly.

"Hold on! You CAN'T be telling the truth!" Tom shouted. "Why ever not?" Tord asked, lifting his chin up to let Matt nip and suck at his neck. "Because... It's just... It's MATT! And you're... You..." Edd answered. "Are you saying I should have a problem with him?" Matt asked, having climbed off of Tord's lap. Edd raised his hands in defense, readying himself to say 'No'. "Yes! You should!" Tom replied. "Look Tom, just because... because YOU have a problem with him, doesn't mean that everyone else should hate him too!"

"He punched you! In the FACE!" Edd argued. "So?! He didn't mean it! He's our friend!" Matt shouted. "Okay, first off, he never was, nor will he ever be my friend. Secondly, you can't trust him! He said it himself! He doesn't need friends!" Tom huffed, tired of hearing Matt defend Tord. "You don't get it! You weren't there... the way he held me, how he made sure every thrust was better than the last... how he looked into my eyes before he came... it was... incredible~" Matt sighed, staring deeply into Tord's stormy grey eye with his baby blue ones.

Tom growled, moving to say something, but was cut off by Edd. "Hey, where are we anyways?" the green hoodie clad Brit asked. Matt stared at Tord for a few seconds more, before looking over to his two other friends. "Oh! We're in the back of a moving van!" Matt answered. "WHAT?!" Tom and Edd shouted. "Well, I knew you would try to walk out of the apartment complex, and I've been wanting to go on a road trip for a while, so, this was my solution!" Matt happily explained.

"I would kill you if you weren't my friend..." Tom muttered. Tord scoffed, rolling his eye. "Wait, then, why are we handcuffed?" Edd asked. "Mr. Sensitive was feeling kinky at the moment. His plan was thought out in the afterglow of our situation. So, blame sex." Tord hummed.

Matt lightly tapped Tord's arm. "Do you have the key?" Edd asked. Matt nodded, pulling the key out and screaming when the truck hit a bump, causing a box full of various items to fall onto him. "Aaahh! An ambush!" Matt screeched, opening the door to the back of the truck. "Tuck and roll, guys!" Matt shouted.

"TUCK AND WHAT?!?!?" the others yelled back, all shouting when Matt jumped out of the truck, dragging the others with him.

The males rolled down a hill and landed in a snowy field, each groaning as they sat up and tried to recover from the fall. "Ow... Oh no! I'm bleeding! My pretty self is bleeding!" Matt whined. "Yeah? Well maybe that'll teach you to stop kidnapping people, cuffing them, placing them in the back of moving vans, and then JUMPING OUT OF SAID MOVING VANS GOING 80 ON THE INTERSTATE!!!!" Tom roared. Edd placed a hand on Tom's shoulder, helping Tom calm down, but only slightly.

Matt frowned, but quickly regained his happiness and unlocked each handcuff. Each male sighed in unison at the feeling of being freed.

"Well, now that we've cleared all of THAT up... MATT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Tom screeched, rushing over to Matt and stopping when Tord pointed his robotic arm at the eyeless man. Narrowing his eye, Tord allowed the weapon to heat up, preparing to use it if needed. "Tord..." Matt whispered, wrapping his arms around Tord's body from behind. Tord looked at Matt, sighing angrily as Matt shook his head pleadingly. Tom narrowed his 'eyes' as Tord put his arm down, the weapon powering down as it was no longer needed.

"So, where are we now?" Tord asked, voice gentle as he asked Matt the question. Matt chuckled nervously. "Well, uhm, you see... it's funny. Because it's involved, and I sorta-" "Where are we?" Tom and Edd asked in unison.

"Somewhere in Norway... or Sweden... depending on how far we got..." Matt whispered. "Du idiotiske tispe! Hvis jeg ikke elsket deg så mye, ville jeg drepe deg hvor du står!" Tord screamed, pulling at his hair and stomping around until he was a panting mess. Tom looked around, only now noticing the thick layers of snow enveloping the ground... and only then did he realize that he was freezing. "Uhm, Tord?" Edd asked. Tord huffed, looking over at Edd, arms crossed.

"Got any idea where we can crash for the night without dying of Hypothermia?" Edd asked. Tord scowled, walking off and gesturing for the others to follow, muttering a few choice words to himself in Norwegian. "Det ville være Matt som ville få oss inn i en slik situasjon. Hvorfor stoler jeg på ham så mye?" the foreigner sighed.

Matt lowered his head upon hearing Tord mutter his name, sighing and walking at the back.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tord led the quartet to a nearby town, hiding behind some foliage and looking at a few signs, which read things like: 'Fersk kjøtt daglig' and 'Meieri, fjørfe og egg'.

"We are in Norway, yet, in which part, I am unsure. We need to keep a low profile, however. For I am wanted by many people, for many things..." Tord sighed, placing his hood over his head, instructing the others to do the same.

Tom and Edd followed quickly and eagerly, but Matt walked slowly, sniffling as he felt great regret.

Once he caught up, however, Matt watched, along with Tom and Edd, as Tord argued with who was apparently an old acquaintance of Tord's.

"Vær så snill! Hjelp oss denne gangen. Du skylder meg!" Tord pleaded. "Jeg beklager, men jeg kan ikke sette familien i fare!" the stranger replied, walking off. Tord rubbed his temple, looking around and leading the others to a nearby store. "F'rleg? F'rleg!" Tord whisper shouted, smiling as a tall man appeared. "Tord! Min gamle venn! Til hva skylder jeg dette sent besøket?" the man asked, his voice booming.

"Vi er fortapt. Vi trenger ly. Har du noe sted for oss?" Tord asked. F'rleg nodded, leading the quartet farther into the store, introducing them to a warm, cozy looking mini-house. "Whoa..." Edd whispered, gawking. "This is an area he keeps for those who need shelter in the very cold times." Tord explained. "Jeg glemte nesten å nevne, men jeg ser også over noen andre." F'rleg mentioned. "Åh? Hvem ellers?" Tord asked.

A young man then appeared, wiping himself free of snow, and smiling widely when he noticed Tord. "Well, well, well... If it isn't my old lover~" the character purred. Matt perked up at this, looking from the new stranger to Tord, and back to the stranger. "I, was never, your lover, Heis..." Tord hissed. "Say what you want, but you know what we had. Oh! I like the new improvements! They really bring out the stormy grey... eye." Heis hummed, holding back a snicker.

Matt worried his lip, walking out of the store and to anywhere that didn't have so much cliché drama.

Tord furrowed his large brows, sighing heavily as he moved to follow Matt.

"Who is that?" Heis asked as Tord got to the door. "A... close friend..." Tord huffed, walking out and looking for Matt. Heis hummed, knowing very well that Tord was lying, and following close after. Tom looked at Edd, pursing his lips and rocking back and forth on his feet. "So... what now?" Tom asked. Edd shrugged, grabbing Tom's arms and pulling them both onto a nearby cot. "I'm cold." Edd hummed, cuddling close to Tom, enjoying the heat of the small fireplace near them. Tom chuckled, supposing that body heat was better than freezing. Besides, they were friends, so it wasn't weird.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Matt shivered, teeth chattering as heavy snow fell from the sky, more than he was used to. "Matt! Matt?!" Tord called out. Matt whimpered, trying to run off, but not having enough strength to do so. Tord finally caught up to Matt, holding him up and hugging him close. "Why did you run off?" Tord asked. "Why did YOU never mention Heis?" Matt asked spitefully. "Because there was nothing to mention! I didn't have any type of relationship with him, he just refused to leave me alone when we were kids." Tord huffed. Matt groaned, knees shaking.

Tord took the hint and began helping Matt walk back to the store, which was a good ways away. "Need help?" Heis asked, walking up to the two males. "Heis! Why did you follow us?" Tord growled. Heis shrugged, easily picking Matt up and cradling him, leading Tord to the store.

Once they returned, they were surprised to find F'rleg talking to Tom and Edd in English. "F'rleg, you know English?" Tord asked. F'rleg nodded. "I taught myself." he replied. Tord hummed, impressed, before returning his attention to Matt, who was being cradled by Heis. "I can see why you like him~ His features are so... easy to take in... if I could just-" 

Tord shoved his robotic arm in Heis' face, scowling as the weapon powered up for the third time that day (the first time was an accident, as Tord had gotten overexcited whilst he was making love to Matt). Heis scoffed, calming down as a gentle expression crossed his face.

"So, who are these guys anyways?" Heis asked, deciding to change the topic to something less... tense, and helping Matt settle on a couch, sitting next to him and holding him close. You know, for body heat.

"My old roommates. This one, in the green hoodie, is Edd." Tord introduced. Edd waved sheepishly. Heis waved back. "That one in the blue, is Tom... ah, classic, stupid Tom." Tord snickered. "He's the idiot of the group." Tord fibbed, not willing to sell out Matt in such a way. "I am not! That title goes to your stupid boyfriend!"

"Shut up! You Jehovah's Witness!" Tord roared. Heis and F'rleg cringed at the name. "No, it's not one of my insults. He really is a Jehovah's Witness." Tord explained flatly. Heis and F'rleg looked at Tom, silently asking if this was true. With a heavy sigh, Tom answered. "Yea. I am."

"And, this one you are holding, is Matt." Tord sighed lovingly, sitting next to Matt and caressing Matt's forehead. "He's perfect." Heis sighed. "I know. He's mine." Tord growled, gripping Matt's torso and pulling him close. Heis frowned, pulling Matt back to him. Tord growled, pulling Matt back. "Oh geeze. Really guys?" Matt asked worriedly, shouting as Tord and Heis started pulling him back and forth quickly. "I. THINK. I'M. GONNA. THROW. UP!!!!" Matt whined, groaning when the two stopped.

Tord smirked and began kissing Matt's neck, reveling in the soft squeak of surprise he received. Heis followed suit, kissing down further towards Matt's chest, licking and suckling at the skin. Matt moaned gratefully, this much attention catching him, and the others, off guard. F'rleg, knowing something like this would happen, had left a long while ago, which left Tom and Edd to watch the display, unimpressed.

"Why does he always end up having to win Matt over when there's another guy around?" Tom asked. Edd sighed and shrugged, shaking his head and covering his eyes as Heis dipped his hands down to palm Matt's crotch.

How Matt managed to get so much attention from guys was a mystery in itself, one that neither Tom nor Edd wanted to solve. All they knew, was that this attention usually ended up in a threesome between Matt, an angry Tord, and some random guy Tord knows who wants a piece of Matt. 

Well, since both Tom and Edd were in the room, they decided that they didn't want to watch two guys stick their dicks in Matt for at least 30 minutes to an hour, which is usually how long one of their threesomes lasted, so, Tom stood up to intervene.

"Alright guys, you can get all humpty dumpty later, let's just get some sleep for tonight, yeah? We're gonna need the energy." Tom sighed, pulling Heis off of Matt. "Aww... can we at least help him cum?" Heis whimpered. Tord chuckled, continuing to lick at Matt's neck, taking Heis' role and palming at Matt's crotch in no time at all. Tom frowned in disgust, but let Heis go anyway. "Just don't stick your dick in him, okay?" Tom sighed, walking off.

Heis sneered, watching as Tom and Edd disappeared to (most likely) get ready for bed. Once Tom was gone, Heis looked at Tord devilishly and smiled. "He said not to stick anything in Matt, but he didn't say Matt couldn't stick anything in us~" Heis cooed. Tord thought it over, smirking and beginning to undress. Matt chuckled, yelping as he was pulled over top of Heis, who was on his hands and knees. "So, let me get this straight, I go into Heis, Heis sucks you off, and we...?" Matt asked.

"We make out like there's no tomorrow..." Tord purred. Matt smiled, happy with anything experimental his lover wanted to do.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tom and Edd walked into the room to find the (disturbing, but pretty hot) display of a threesome between Matt, Tord, and Heis. "You didn't say Matt couldn't fuck either of them." Edd argued. Tom groaned, slapping his hand on his face. "I'm friends with a bunch of idiots..."

**Author's Note:**

> Translations, just because:
> 
> Du idiotiske tispe! Hvis jeg ikke elsket deg så mye, ville jeg drepe deg hvor du står!: You idiotic bitch! If I did not love you so much, I would kill you where you stand!
> 
> Det ville være Matt som ville få oss inn i en slik situasjon. Hvorfor stoler jeg på ham så mye?: It WOULD be Matt that would get us into such a situation. Why do I trust him so much?
> 
> Fersk kjøtt daglig: Fresh meat daily
> 
> Meieri, fjørfe og egg: Milk, Poultry, and Eggs
> 
> Vær så snill! Hjelp oss denne gangen. Du skylder meg!: Pease! Help us this time! You owe me!
> 
> Jeg beklager, men jeg kan ikke sette familien i fare!: I'm sorry, but I can not put the family at risk!
> 
> Tord! Min gamle venn! Til hva skylder jeg dette sent besøket?: Tord! My old friend! What do I owe this late visit?
> 
> Vi er fortapt. Vi trenger ly. Har du noe sted for oss?: We are lost. We need shelter. Do you have any for us?
> 
> Jeg glemte nesten å nevne, men jeg ser også over noen andre.: I almost forgot to mention, but I also look over someone else.
> 
> Åh? Hvem ellers?: Oh? Who else?


End file.
